Silver Linings
by Selenity15
Summary: Met by chance, or destined by fate. Inuyasha's mother and father. Their lives were doomed to end in tragedy. But every dark cloud has its silver linings. The beginning of the story of Izayoi and Inutaisho.
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Inuyasha, so please don't sue me.

Notes: Inuyasha's mother always seemed like sort of a tragic figure for me, so it wasn't too hard to put her in this position. While trying to decide what Inuyasha's father was like, I figured that he was a combination of Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha--a bit cold and calculating (since he is a youkai), but basically good, a little more "enlightened" than other youkai, and just a little bit stubborn (Inuyasha had to get it from somewhere). So here it goes...

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He walked to a favorite spot, wishing to forget about the long and annoying day by doing nothing more than watching the moon dance across the sky. Just a bit more out of the forest, and the cliff would be in view. He was almost through the underbrush when he noticed that there was already someone there. Standing on the cliff was a human girl. A girl wearing the clothes of a lady, even. He wondered what she was doing out so late and so far out. He stopped, standing in the last few trees that were present before the land cleared.

He wondered if she was going to go away soon. It was given that she wouldn't want to meet a youkai, and he didn't usually go out of his way to frighten humans. He settled on simply waiting until she left. He had all night; she probably did not. She would leave eventually, and he would be free to watch the rest of the night away.

But she didn't leave. And he began to suspect that she was out here for something besides the view. Even from this distance, he could tell that she had been crying. And she would stand at the very edge of the cliff and stare off, and then turn around and walk a short distance away. There she would stand or sometimes pace for a few minutes before she went back to the cliff. Each cycle of this seemed to take about five minutes, and she had done three of them now. He inwardly sighed. All he had wanted to do was sit there in peace for the rest of the night, but it didn't seem that she would be leaving anytime soon--the way she came, or the way that she wanted to go.

He wasn't sure how he felt about her jumping. (She didn't seem to know how she felt about it, either.) It really wasn't of any consequence to him if some girl killed herself, but it seemed like such a pointless waste. And while he certainly had no obligation to go out there and talk her out of it, he felt somewhat guilty at standing there and simply watching if she did eventually throw herself off. He could just leave now, but he knew that he wouldn't be able to stop wondering if she had done it or not, and all he had ever wanted to do tonight was sit out here in peace to begin with. Beginning to grow irritated at all parts of the situation, he finally decided that was tired of waiting for her to leave, and that he wasn't going to let her presence keep him from doing what he wanted. He would do what he came to do, whether she was there or not. Hopefully she would just leave when she saw him, and either forget her suicidal thoughts or save them for another night.

-----

Stabbing sounded too painful. Poison too nauseating. Hanging too lingering. The only other answer was jumping. It sounded logical, speedy, and relatively instant and painless if it was done from high enough. So now she stood in the moonlit night, overlooking the valley more than fifty feet below her. It would have been a breathtaking sight, if she could see anything besides death at the bottom. Her feet were inches from the cliff's edge, and she was trying to take the step. She had been trying to do so for the last hour.

Izayoi's family was wealthy--rich even--and she was a beautiful lady of the upper class. She had had no real life, and had been engaged to a stranger in order to make alliances. But that hadn't bothered her. It was expected, and the only idea that she had ever known. She had delighted in pleasing her family, and fulfilling her role. Until she had had her first taste of love. Another young noble had courted her, not knowing of the agreement already between her father and the chosen house. He had spoken sweet words, and showered her with flowers and poetry. She had felt alive for the first time, and felt that there was something outside of what she knew. Something to live for.

She had seen no difference in who she married, and thought that one noble was as good as another. But when Izayoi had brought up the subject of the young man to her father, he had refused, saying that there was already an agreement concerning her. She had wept and cried; and she and her would be lover had cursed their fate, both saying that they couldn't bear to live the rest of their lives without the other. However, when she had suggested committing double suicide, it became very clear that he could live without her. He had left her, even becoming quickly smitten with her younger sister. Which her father had had no problems with, as her sister had no marriage contracts. He saw it as good fortune, having two daughters ready to marry eligible nobles.

She had cried for days at the unfairness of it all, and had realized that she couldn't go back to how things used to be. While her suitor had betrayed her, the feelings that she had had beforehand were something that she couldn't live without. To have someone else to live for, to wake up each day knowing that she had something. It had made her alive. And though she could live without this feeling for a while, she knew that she couldn't live her whole life playing the part that she had played before. She felt nothing similar for the man she was to marry, and knew that if she married him, she would never be free to feel such things again. To go back to a life with no chance of ever feeling that way again--she didn't think that she could do. And if she had been willing to commit double suicide, why not single suicide?

Now Izayoi stood on the cliff, playing with the relieving yet terrifying idea of throwing herself off of it. She could leave everything behind, and be free from a joyless life. If she could only do it.

"Going to jump?" a voice from behind her suddenly asked.

She almost did jump then. She had thought that she was quite alone, and was startled at suddenly finding someone there with her. "Maybe," she answered without turning around, making an effort to keep her voice level. She heard nothing, but the man must have come closer, as she soon saw his figure standing next to her. She didn't look up at him, but she could see his clothing out of her peripheral vision.

"Maybe?"

"Yes, I am, then."

"You'd have done it by now," he stated simply.

How long had he been standing there behind her? "I have nobody to live for, so why not?" she said, trying to sound sure of herself.

"Live for yourself. It's what I do."

She was becoming irritated at this person. She tore her gaze away from the valley beneath her to see who rude enough to disturb her death. "You! What do you even kno--oh!"

The one standing beside her wasn't human. Panic washed over Izayoi and she took an automatic step away, forgetting that she was on the edge of a cliff. She felt her foot slip, and she suddenly gasped, but felt relieved at the same time. At least it was going to be over now.

But before she had fallen barely an inch, his hand snaked out and grabbed her by the shoulder, pushing her back up. Almost infuriated that he had done so, she glared up at him.

"Why did you do that?!" she cried angrily, forgetting her initial reaction to be scared.

"You really want to die?" he said.

"Yes, I do!" she yelled, swatting his hand off her shoulder.

"Then you're afraid to do it."

"Yes, I am!"

She realized what she had said, and was even more angered that he had made her admit it. She couldn't do it; she had known deep inside from the first instant that she had looked down that she wouldn't be able to; yet there was no other way out. She wanted everything to end, but she was afraid.

Acting on the impulsive idea the very second that it came to her, she drew back her arm and slapped him across the face as hard as she could. His head barely moved, and it felt like she very nearly broke her hand. Though she scarcely registered the pain, as she was readying herself for what she thought would inevitably come next.

But nothing did. He only looked at her for several agonizingly long seconds before he said, "I'm not going to do your dirty work for you."

Suddenly feeling as if she didn't have enough willpower left to stand, she sank down to the ground and stared dejectedly at the dirt. She suddenly realized that if he wasn't going to do anything, she could find no reason to be afraid of him, youkai or not. "Then. Go. Away." she commanded bitterly.

"No."

The outright refusal startled her. She looked up at him from where she sat. "I was here first," she said, realizing how childish it sounded the instant that it was out of her mouth.

"Tonight, maybe. But I found this spot long before you."

"This cliff isn't yours."

"It's not yours, either. But it's a lot closer to being mine than it is to being yours," he said, sitting down so that his side faced her and he overlooked the valley. He was going to stay there!

"Why don't you just go away?" she demanded.

"Why don't you just go away?" he responded coolly.

Unable to think of anything else to say or do, she moved over a bit and turned her back on him and the valley. She found herself absently massaging her hand while she thought. She couldn't even commit suicide right. Worse, she couldn't even get a youkai to kill her. And while some small part of her mind found it interesting that he hadn't, a greater part wished that he had. Why hadn't he? Izayoi had seen her uncle kill men for less disrespect. And youkai cared nothing for human lives. She halfway wondered why he was still here, or even out here to begin with, but she found that she didn't care.

She looked toward the woods that led to her home. She didn't want to go back, but she had nowhere else to go. And if she wasn't going to kill herself, she had to go somewhere. Maybe she would go back, just later. She couldn't stand to tonight. She turned her head around to look at the youkai, who had his back to her and was ignoring her completely. She had never really seen a youkai before. It never occurred to her that there was one that wouldn't want kill a human on sight, not to mention one that would be so disagreeable.

Suddenly she heard the crunch of underbrush and the saw the lights of small lanterns coming through the woods. They couldn't find her now, she wasn't sure that she wanted to go back. Even if she did, she didn't want to go now. She glanced around, but the cliff was completely bare. Soon they spotted her and came out of the woods, two of her father's guards. She stood up to face them. They stopped a dozen or so feet away and nodded their heads in a small bow to her before they spoke.

"My lady, we've finally found you," one greeted her.

"We're to bring you back to the house," the second one said.

"Thank you, but I do not wish to return yet."

"I'm sorry, but we have orders from--"

"I tell you I'm not going!"

"Lady, you must understand that--"

"No!"

The second man suddenly noticed the youkai sitting on the edge of the cliff. "Does this youkai keep you here?"

She glanced at the youkai, who looked up at the men out of the corner of his eye, but then turned back to the valley.

"No, I left and stayed out on my own! My sisters would tell you that! _He_ just happens to be here, on _his_ cliff." It was true, he did just happen to be there. She almost wished that he were keeping her there, though, as she couldn't help but notice the reluctance in the guard's voice when he thought that he might have to fight a youkai.

She suddenly moved, putting the youkai between herself and the two men. She didn't expect him to do anything, but hopefully he looked intimidating enough that the guards wouldn't approach her. If they had orders from her father, they would take her back by force if necessary, whether she was their lady or not. She saw the youkai glance at her, giving her much the same cool look that he had after she had slapped him. He knew what she was doing. Now if he would just sit there and not say anything.

Izayoi glared back at the guards. "I'm not going. Tell Father that I may or may not return. It shouldn't matter anyway, one of his other daughters can take my place."

The men looked back and forth between her and the youkai for several moments, and then they spoke lowly to each other. Finally, they left without a word or further glance in her direction, disappearing back into the woods.

She relaxed. At least the immediate problem was taken care of. But that had drained her of all her anger, leaving only the hopeless sadness.

She felt the hairs on the back of her neck suddenly prick up, and turned to look at the youkai, who was now staring at her. "Nicely done," he said. Then he turned back around.

Not particularly caring, she went over to the cliff and sat down next to him.

"What are you doing?" he asked, looking at her with slight surprise.

"Sitting," she said, not looking at him, but at the valley. "If you wish to be rid of my company, you'll have to kill me or leave. I can look at the view, too."

She sat with her legs dangling over the side, and she looked out at the moonlit lands below. Despair hit her again, and she felt herself leaning farther toward the edge. A part of her mind danced with the wonder of how far she could look before she fell. Maybe she could do it if she did it little by little, instead of taking that first and final horrifying step. She was afraid to do it, but she wanted it done. She just wanted peace and freedom, and that was the only way she saw to get it.

"Just because I didn't kill you, you're awfully trusting, you know," he said, jerking her out of her thoughts. She leaned back away from the edge without knowing it.

"I don't care," she said, her eyes still on the valley. Though she got the feeling that his eyes were on her.

"I could change my mind and still kill you."

"I don't care."

"I could use you."

"I don't care."

"I could just wound you, and leave you here bleeding."

"I don't care."

"What do you care about?"

"Nothing," she said quietly. She felt a tear slide down her cheek. She turned to look at him. "Are you sure I can't talk you into putting me out of my misery?"

He said nothing, and she broke the gaze. Emotionally exhausted, she let herself fall against the dirt behind her, her legs still dangling over the cliff's edge. She looked past the youkai and up to the stars. She wondered if the dead moved among the stars.

"You really do want to die," he said suddenly, turning toward her. He leaned a bit closer and almost seemed to be studying her. She held her breath. Was he going to do it, and end it for her? She waited for what seemed like hours while he stared down at her, frowning slightly. Then he sat back up straight and turned his head back to the valley. Another tear fell out of her eye. She would have to live, then.

-----

"Are you sure I can't talk you into putting me out of my misery?"

She looked at him with eyes so sad. Not sad at the prospect of dying, but sad at the prospect of living. Then sighing at his lack of response, she fell back into the dirt, and looked up at the sky. A small stream of tears ran down each side of her face.

"You really do want to die," he realized, turning halfway around to glance at her. 

Perhaps he should just do as she asked. He had stopped her from falling before because he had startled her. He had known that he would startle her when he had walked up. If the girl wanted to throw herself off a cliff, that was her business, but he wasn't going to be the one that accidentally made her fall if she didn't really want it. But it seemed that she really wanted death. Perhaps he should just do as she asked. He halfway considered it. There wasn't anything wrong with killing someone who desired death so much, he supposed.

He looked at her where she lay, and absently leaned closer, as if the answer was just out of his reach. She stared back blankly with almost hopeful eyes, and the corners of her mouth twisted into a hollow, expectant smile.

The look on her face suddenly unnerved him. She was confused. She didn't know what she wanted. She was afraid of death, and even more afraid to do it herself, but she obviously saw it as her only release. A release that she desired so much that she would set her fears aside for, especially if she could simply die without having to be the one to inflict it. It was odd to see a human wish for death so completely; they usually did everything in their power to stay alive. And he had never seen someone so utterly unconcerned with what happened to them. He felt sorry for her in a way.

He should have known that he wouldn't have been able to walk out here without getting involved. For her to simply leave when she saw him would have been too simple. She hadn't gone, she had somehow gotten into an argument with him, and then she had used him to fend off her father's guards. Nothing was ever simple. Not only that, she also wanted him to end her problems for her. She had now basically asked him to kill her three times. The first time she had tried to provoke him, the second time she had flat out told him that if he wanted to be alone he would have to kill her, and now she was practically pleading. But something in his better nature still wouldn't allow it. She didn't deserve to die, she just wanted it, or so she thought. He suddenly turned and broke her eerie gaze, and once more looked back off of the cliff. He heard a sob escape her throat.

"No?" she asked.

"No."

-----

He wasn't going to do it.

"No?"

"No."

"Why not?" She sighed. "I thought youkai killed."

"I do kill. When called for."

"Would the death of one human woman try that heavily on your conscience?" She still didn't look at him, only staring straight above.

"Perhaps," he said, then pausing. "What happened to make you so desperate?"

When she didn't answer him, he pulled her chin to the side, forcing her to look up at him. She unexpectedly noticed how warm his hand was. "You're freezing," he said suddenly, affirming her realization.

"Then I'll just lie here and freeze to death," she said, jerking her head away and once more staring fixedly at the stars.

"It won't get that cold."

"It was worth a try."

The air almost seemed to get colder to her then. Izayoi had been so preoccupied with her thoughts before that she hadn't noticed it, but now the wind seemed to bite at her. She suddenly shivered.

"What happened to make you so desperate?" he repeated.

"You care?"

"You've dragged me into it. I am at least entitled to the full story."

"I have no life," she finally said, then meeting his gaze. "Life is only a ritual that benefits others. But that was all I knew, so I didn't care. Then to find something that lets you really be alive, and then have it ripped away--you see what you've missed. And then you're thrust back into the ritual of fake life again...I couldn't stand it."

"There is no way for you to get this thing back?"

"No."

"Nor find something similar to let you out again?"

"No."

"Still, why die?"

"If I can't really live, I would rather not live at all."

"Brave words."

She suddenly couldn't think of a reply, as he was right. They were only words.

"Start over somewhere else," he suggested.

"It's not that simple, _youkai_," she said, sitting up to face him. "Don't you think I've thought about that? I have no friends to shelter me. If I go to another noble house, I'll be found out and sent back soon enough! And I don't know how to do anything, other than be a lady. I wish I could go to some village and make a simple life for myself, but I don't know how! You know nothing! I have _nothing_!"

"You see nothing worth living for?"

"I...I don't know. If I were free, I suppose. Free to live and do as I wished."

"A heavy price. One not easily obtained."

"You talk. I bet _you're_ free," she spat. "What do youkai do, anyway?"

"Many do exactly as you think--skulk in darkness and come out to destroy."

"Not you?"

"I find that a bit bleak and pointless."

"Lucky me."

"I sincerely doubt that you would want to die in the way that many youkai would kill you."

Morbid stories of youkai-related deaths suddenly flashed through her mind. "Maybe not," she finally admitted.

"There are more guards coming," he suddenly said, standing up. "And I do not wish to play more games with them. The peace of this night has been ruined, anyway. I'm leaving. If you don't want to go back, I suggest that you do the same."

She stood up. She didn't hear anyone, but something told her that if he said there were more coming, then there were more coming. What to do now? But before she could say anything, he spoke again.

"There is a clan of nobles, called the Kikuchi, in the west. I have dealings with them. If you get there, and tell them that I said so, they will let you stay with no questions asked. You'll be free to live your life however you want."

"You...you would do that?"

"Don't sound so surprised. It's not as if it requires a great effort on my part."

"No. No, but there are lots of people just like me. Why would...?"

He shrugged. "They weren't standing on my cliff, and they didn't throw themselves at me begging to be killed. Besides, you have to get there on your own."

It was still a good offer. He turned to leave, and Izayoi realized that she didn't even know his name.

"Wait! Who should I say sent me?"

He turned back to look at her.

"Tell them, the white dog."

She suddenly heard the distant crunching of feet through the woods, and looked behind her. If she didn't leave now, they would find her. She started to go, but turned back around once more.

"Thank y--" she started, but he had vanished, without any hint or trace of where he had gone. Turning away, she also disappeared into the night.


	2. Chapter 2

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Inuyasha, so please don't sue me.

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After that, it had all been surprisingly easy. Izayoi left the cliff, and somewhat nervously made her way through the dark night alone. It wasn't until she had made some distance that she began to relax. There was no one searching for her nearby, and as long as she was quiet, she would see and hear any more guards coming. She struck out on the road by herself, though she always walked along the tall grasses instead of actually in the lane.

Occasionally someone rode by, but no matter what it seemed that they were out for, she stayed still for long after they passed. But soon all travelers ceased as well. Izayoi liked the idea at first, until she realized that the reason there hadn't been anyone on the road for hours was because they thought it too dangerous. There were more things about at night than mere bandits. She had already met one of them, and others might not be as friendly. Well, 'friendly' wasn't exactly the right word. He was more...just disinterested in being hostile.

At any rate, she knew that if she were caught out here alone by something, she would be dead. Funny how that idea sounded so horrible to her now. But all she could do was hope that the night would pass safely.

She couldn't tell what the time was, as both sides of the sky looked equally pitch. And her going became slower as she went along, since the land by the roadside became more jagged and filled with holes and rocks. Finally she gave up and used the road itself.

By dawn she was at the next village. She would much rather not be, as with the coming of light others would be sent out to look for her. And messengers would more than likely be dispatched to the neighboring villages. However, Izayoi also realized that if she had any chance at all of getting farther, she needed different clothes. She found the merchant's house quietly enough, and regrettably ended up waking him up. But she needed to get away before the whole village was stirring. He had been quite displeased to be woken by her. Until he had heard her offer.

"Still, I haven't the money on hand to pay for such a piece," he protested, even as he walked around her examining her kimono.

"It doesn't matter. I don't care. Just give me whatever you can, and a new set of clothes."

He looked at the embroidery on one of her sleeves and eyed her somewhat suspiciously. "Why are you so desperate to sell me this?"

"Please, I can't explain. But will you take it?"

He said nothing, but continued looking at her.

"It's not a trick," she said. "Just give me some money and some new clothes, and then it's yours to sell for your profit--though you must wait a bit and travel somewhere else before you so," she added.

"It's not stolen, is it?"

"No! I just..."

"All right," he said after a moment.

"Thank you." She wondered if he had guessed.

She sold her fine kimono to him, in exchange for coin pieces not half the worth, a simple peasant dress, and his promise to forget that she was ever there.

Then she quickly and quietly left, going along the road that left the village. During the day, she walked along the road, as it looked far less suspicious. Several horsemen of her father passed her, but none stopped her. And no other people paid her any attention at all. By that night, she was having dinner at an inn in the next village. As she ate her food, Izayoi confronted a problem that had been growing in her mind. She wasn't sure where she was going, but she was sure that she couldn't get there by herself. The road was dangerous, and only got more so. She sat in the main room of the inn very late, more to distract herself than anything else. She could still get a full night's sleep and be off early in the morning.

When she finally decided to go to her room, all of the other visitors to the inn seemed to have retired already. But as she was walking across the room, she caught the end of a conversation between two people. She stood behind the screen for a moment, listening as an idea formed in her head. One of the people suddenly exited and went away, and Izayoi stuck her head around the screen.

A man sat in the corner by himself. "Something I can do for you, girl?"

"Samurai-sama," she greeted him with a bow, "was I correct in hearing that you are without a lord?"

"Yes, my master died with no relations."

"Then I have an offer for you."

"I'm not interested."

Izayoi dumped out her bag of coins on to the table anyway. "I need an escort. You need a job."

"That's a fair sum," he said.

"It would be more than enough for you," she continued, "until you find someone else to serve."

"And how did a peasant girl like you come by such an amount? Did you steal it? Not even a whore could get such a sum."

Izayoi ignored his last comment. "I'm not a peasant," she whispered, putting all her hopes on this venture. "And I need to get away."

He looked at her for several more moments. "How far?"

"I don't know."

"Where are you going?"

"I don't know." Izayoi felt her entire plan slipping away right then. "To a family called the Kikuchi," she continued quickly. "They live somewhere in the west. I don't know how far."

"Very well," he finally said.

"Truly you will?"

"Yes."

"Thank you," she said, putting the money back in the bag except for a few coins, which she left on the table. "The rest when we arrive?"

He nodded.

-----

The next morning they left. Izayoi was in high spirits, but it soon turned into a boring, uncomfortable trip. Within a few days, the road turned into ruts, then into a winding path, and then soon to nothing. Many times they slept outside on the ground, many times there wasn't enough game to be caught, and many times the food that they bought in villages wore thin. Though they really had no serious problems along the way. And her fear of being discovered was gone. No one would ever think of her going so far on her own, and she was sure that she no longer looked like a noble lady.

Her companion was truly nothing but an escort, and hardly spoke to her at all, unless it was to tell her something. Though she was grateful in some ways--he hadn't asked any questions about why she was leaving or who she was. And he did offer the useful piece of advice that as they made their way farther west, the name of Kikuchi would surely be more known, and she would have no problem finding them. But his silence left Izayoi to her own thoughts, which were becoming increasingly more complicated each day.

After that first morning at leaving the inn, she had been elated. She was on her way to having a new life. She had left everything behind, and she was going to be free.

At which point she realized that she had done everything on her own. She had left, she had sold her clothes, she had found someone to take her on the long and dangerous journey. She had done all of this by herself--she who had before hardly even lifted a finger to comb her hair.

Except that she didn't really do it herself. She had something to aim for. She could have never done all of this and just struck out on her own. Or maybe she could have. She could have sold her kimono and tried to start a life somewhere with the money on that. Maybe. But it didn't really matter, since she had somewhere to go.

Or did she? Everyday that they neared, she began to have doubts. On day that she and her samurai escort were able to confirm the definite existence of the Kikuchi, Izayoi's doubt actually got worse. What she was actually going to do when she got there, she hadn't exactly worked out. Just walk in and tell them? Would he be there? What if they didn't believe her? Why would they?

She also began to worry that she had come all this way on the word of a youkai. She could think of no particular reason that he would lie to her, and she could see no advantage that he would have gained by doing so. But she could also think of no reason for him to even bother with her in the first place. Something just seemed off about it.

She hadn't figured out things anymore by the time that they arrived at the city that had been connected with the Kikuchi name. Upon inquiring, they learned that the family's house and grounds lay outside the borders of the town. Halfway along the walk of the well-trodden, winding path that led there, she and her companion parted ways. She could find the rest of the way by herself. She gave him the rest of the money, thanked him, and they parted. Just like that. He had made no inquiry about her further business, and she none about his.

Izayoi found the rest of the way easily, and soon a large house surrounded by courtyards came into view. She suddenly realized how completely inappropriate she looked. But it couldn't be helped. At least there were others dressed like herself about, doing their business and trade. The best that she could do was wash her face in hands in a small stream.

Still completely unsure of herself, she made her way through the people, until she spotted two girls close to her own age dressed in fine clothes and sitting a little to themselves in a small corner of the courtyard. She approached them.

"Excuse me," she said, bowing, "I have need to speak with the Kikuchi."

"I'm sorry," said one, "but we have enough handmaids right now. You might try asking the cook."

"Oh, now you are too mean, Suki," chided the elder one. "Look at her. She couldn't do kitchen work. And Mother was complaining of one of her maids only the other day."

"Mother is very choosy. You know that." She eyed Izayoi. "And she's filthier than most. I wonder if she would even clean up."

"You wonder! Why, I believe she possesses nicer hair than you do!"

"Excuse me," Izayoi interrupted. "But I'm not here looking for work. I...I need to speak to someone, perhaps the lord or lady of the house?"

"Mother is extremely busy, Father even more so," the eldest one said. "And whatever about?"

"The white dog?"

Izayoi couldn't remember exactly how it had happened after that. But she found herself whisked away in a flurry of excitement by the two girls. Now she found herself in a room with the lord and lady of the house, the two daughters standing off to one side and talking eagerly to themselves.

"He said that?" the lord asked, after Izayoi related what had been told to her by the youkai. She didn't tell them where she was from or how exactly she and the youkai had met, but only his parting words to her. "Inutaisho-sama told you this himself?"

Inutaisho? Was that his name? "Yes," she ventured, hoping that she was correct.

The lord didn't seem to believe her. "You've seen him? What did he look like?"

Izayoi tried desperately to remember. She hadn't really been paying attention at the time--and that night all seemed like a distant dream. "It was dark," she stammered, "he had fair hair..."

"And you say that you are of noble birth?"

"Yes."

The lord continued to consider her suspiciously. But then his wife, who had remained silent, moved forward. She hadn't taken her eyes off Izayoi since she had entered the room. She walked around her once in silent inspection, and then reached up to untie the material that Izayoi had bound her hair up with. A river of black silk poured down, finally coming to rest as it reached Izayoi's knees.

"I told you so!" she heard one of the daughters exclaim to the other one.

"Now give me your hands," the lady said. Izayoi held out her hands, and the lady turned them over in her own. "Dirty now, but this girl has never done a day's work in her life," she announced.

"Do you believe her then?"

"At least part of her story is true, husband."

The lord seemed to think things over for a long moment. "We cannot risk offending Inutaisho-sama," he finally said. "She will stay for now." Then he looked at Izayoi. "But if I find that you're lying, you will regret it."

Izayoi bowed. "If anything I have said is untrue, I will gratefully accept whatever punishment you deem fit."

He only gave a slight nod before leaving the room.

Then the lady moved toward Izayoi, smiling warmly. "Azami, Suki," she said to her daughters, "let's find a room for our guest. Get someone to help her clean up, and find one of your kimono that you think will fit her. Come with me," she said to Izayoi, "it seems as if you had a hard journey."

Izayoi followed the woman out of the room and through the rich hallway. She was here. She had managed by a miraculously unusual chance of events to start a new life. But she couldn't help but thinking...what now?


	3. Chapter 3

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Inuyasha, so please don't sue me.

----------

It was several days later. Izayoi was sitting with the two sisters, Azami and Suki, in a room that opened up to private gardens on one side. They were having tea and talk, which Izayoi was thoroughly enjoying. It was nice to be clean and dressed again, have plenty to eat, and have someone to talk to. The two sisters were very nice, and reminded her of her own sisters, one of the only things she really missed about her home.

Azami seemed to genuinely like Izayoi. And Izayoi found her charming, perceptive, witty, and educated, but still more than willing to talk of gossip and frivolous things. Suki seemed a bit more of a snob, but she immediately forgot all first impressions when it was revealed that Izayoi was indeed of a noble clan. And while only a few years younger, Suki found it impossible to refuse any idea that her sister liked. Though she seemed to have her head up in the clouds a good deal more than Azami.

So far, they had talked of nothing in particular but the layout of the lands and of Azami and Suki's family. She learned that they had an older brother, and had had another who had been killed in battle the previous year. Izayoi had offered nothing of her family, and while Azami hadn't asked, Suki now began questioning her.

"So what clan are you from?"

"Nothing like you," Izayoi said humbly, hoping to change the subject. "I doubt you've heard of us. We are just a simple family."

"Of what name?"

"I--"

"Suki," Azami cut in, "Izayoi-san obviously left. So I'm sure she would prefer not to say. But perhaps you could tell us a little?" she ventured, turning to Izayoi.

"I...there was someone that my father wouldn't let me marry because I was already engaged. But then that someone left me. And then...I just felt trapped by it all. It sounds stupid now, but I just felt like I didn't want to go on. I was going to throw myself off a cliff."

"Oh! That is _so_ like something out of one of the classic verses!" Suki exclaimed. "Lost love, suicide..." she sighed. "I would hate to marry someone I didn't even like. I feel so sorry for you! That would never happen to us."

"What Suki means," Azami said, "is that due to our position, we'll have more than our pick of husbands."

"I see," Izayoi said.

"But do tell us about Inutaisho-sama," Suki exclaimed, changing the subject.

"Tell _you_ about him? Why don't you tell me about him?" she asked.

Azami shrugged. "We really don't know anything about him. I've hardly spoken to him. He usually stays by himself when he's here, or only has things to say to Father and Mother."

"But then there's the legends," Suki said.

"Legends?" Izayoi asked.

"Yes," Azami said, "legends and history. Our family has supposedly had dealings with him since before anyone can remember. There are several scrolls in the main room about that. But it's said that he controls the lands around here and always has. I don't know much about youkai, but it's said that he's one of the oldest and most powerful. He's the only youkai I've ever seen around here, so maybe it's true. There's also something about that in the legends--that these lands are under his protection."

"Mm..." Izayoi mused.

"But he seems nice enough, I suppose," she continued, "if a little distant and intimidating. He is youkai, after all." After a pause, "Would you mind me asking how exactly you met him?"

"It was on the cliff. We ended up talking about...things. At the end, he said I could come and live here if I wanted."

"Why?"

"I really have no idea."

-----

It was several weeks later when Inutaisho came to the Kikuchi house. Upon word of his arrival, the current Kikuchi lord, Daisuke, came to greet him.

"Ah, Inutaisho-sama. Everything is well, I trust?"

"Yes."

"The girl, Izayoi, arrived."

"Izayoi?" he repeated.

"That girl..." Daisuke stammered, suddenly uncomfortable. "She--she informed us that you had given her permission to stay here."

That girl, he suddenly remembered. He had never heard her name before, he realized.

"I knew she was lying," Daisuke was saying. "She--"

"No, I did say that," Inutaisho cut him off.

"Oh, of course then. Whatever you wish, my lord. I'll be leaving you, if there's nothing else?"

"Has my son come by, by any chance?"

"Sesshoumaru-sama? Why, no. You know that he--he's not...too fond of us. I haven't seen him in years--not since the last time that he was here with you. Were you expecting him?"

"Not particularly. But I had hoped that he might at least have the decency to leave me a message here. I suppose not."

Daisuke remained quiet, not willing to comment on his remark one way or the other.

-----

Izayoi heard from Azami the next day that Inutaisho had returned. She had also noticed a change in several people's behavior, most notably the lord's. Suddenly, it wasn't as if he were annoyed with her being there, but put up with it merely because he had to, it was as if she were completely deserving of being there, simply because of Inutaisho's confirmation. It was kind of odd, really.

She wondered if she would see Inutaisho at all, and if so, what she should say. She didn't have much time to think about it, however, as when she turned the next corner of the hallway, he was there.

"Hello," she blurted out, not sure what else to say.

"Hello."

"I--I wanted to thank you," she said. There was a silence. "Thank you, Inutaisho-sama."

Just then someone stepped out of a doorway. "Inutaisho-sama?"

Izayoi suddenly felt very awkward. She quickly bowed, and then continued on her way down the hall. She cringed as she walked away. That couldn't have gone worse, she thought. She risked a half-glace back around, and saw Inutaisho following the man into the room.

She kept walking, ended up in the gardens, and decided to stay there. Izayoi mulled over the last few moments in her head. She certainly hadn't been expecting to see him there.

She realized that he looked a lot different than she remembered, or perhaps didn't remember. He looked a lot more...youkai. "Fair hair" didn't quite cover it. His hair was a whitish silver, his eyes were yellow, there were marks on his face, and his hands seemed to have something more like claws than nails. Other than that, he was dressed very nicely, and seemed to be wearing a special sort of armor.

"Hello."

Izayoi nearly jumped out of her skin. She whipped around, only to find him suddenly right behind her. "Don't _do_ that!" she screeched. "I mean--yes, Inutaisho-sama?"

He smirked slightly. "Why so formal?"

"Inutaisho-sama, I--"

"Don't call me that," he interrupted suddenly.

"What? Why not?"

"I don't know."

"But everyone else is--I mean, everyone else calls you that," she said, looking down.

"Yes, they do. But it might be refreshing to know one person who doesn't walk backwards in front of me, so to speak. And I think perhaps that formality doesn't suit you."

"I'll call you whatever you want...Inutaisho," she added awkwardly.

"I told them you could stay here. You don't have to be so eager to please. Whatever happened to living your life for you, and all of that?"

"I see," Izayoi said. "So why did you do it? Back then, I mean."

"I don't know," he finally said. "I suppose I felt sorry for you. And I happened to be there. And sometimes it's almost nice to do something that will make a difference, even to one person. I'm not in a position to do that very often."

Izayoi was shocked for some reason. "I didn't know youkai thought about things like that," she said after a moment.

"There's a lot that people don't know about youkai."

"Like what?"

-----

That was the beginning of their odd talks, talks about everything to nothing, and talks that were often. Only when he told her that he would be leaving for a little while did Izayoi realize how much time they had been spending together during the past week. But it was only a few short days before he returned, and they resumed their talks.

It wasn't long before Izayoi felt like she could say anything in front of him, even things that she wouldn't tell to Azami and Suki. Not personal things, necessarily, but just things. It was almost like she didn't have to worry about society around him; no matter what they were talking about, he didn't judge anything she said one way or the other, and didn't seem to think anything of her for saying it. And then there was the fact that she felt she really had nothing left to hide. He had already seen her at her lowest (the exact details of that night she had never repeated to anyone else).

And he told her things, things about the world and about youkai. Many things that she never imagined. And it was interesting to get a slightly (or sometimes incredibly) different perspective on things, sometimes things that she had never looked at in a different way before. Actually, he seemed to somewhat enjoy having someone to talk to, even if she was the one that did most of the talking most of the time. She wondered about what Azami had said about him keeping to himself. Izayoi had noticed that he was rarely in the company of anyone besides herself.

One night when they were more or less aimlessly walking around the main halls, she decided to ask him about it. She had been unable to sleep, and thought to spend a while in the private courtyard gardens as long as she was up. She found him there, doing nothing but staring at the sky. He had immediately noticed her, and they had started talking, only returning inside when the wind began to chill her.

"What exactly is the arrangement here?" she asked. "With you and the Kikuchi, I mean. How did it start? You're not always here?"

"I come here when I'm not doing other things, or just to rest. I stay for a few days, a week, whatever I feel like. I have a room on the far end of the building."

"Do you stay to yourself? That's just what I heard someone say," she added quickly.

"Mostly, yes." He gave her a look. "Until recently."

"How does it all work? You're obviously important, but you don't really _do_ anything, unless I'm missing something?"

Inutaisho led her over to some scrolls that were on a far wall. One of them pictured two men in fancy kimono bowing before a man with white hair. Izayoi frowned and then looked closer.

"Is that you?" she asked.

"Yes, but it was nothing like that. If I recall correctly, I made that proposal on the edge of a particularly gruesome battlefield, with two warlord brothers, one of whom had just finished having his leg amputated."

"And they painted it like _that_?"

"Stories grow and people glorify their ancestors," he said. "Besides, there's no one left who remembers, and I doubt anyone is left that even knows the correct story."

"Doesn't it bother you that they don't care what actually happened?"

"Not really. Let them have their stories. But you asked how it started. That was it. I wanted a place to come back to every now and then, that didn't require upkeep. As well as a little help, should I need it." He sighed. "Though that was so long ago... But in return, they got the guarantee that their lands would be safe from other youkai. They died, of course, but it continued with their descendants, until today."

"How old are you?" she asked, wondering why she didn't think of it before.

"Old enough," he said with a smirk.

"Old enough?" she repeated.

"Old enough."

"Mm. But how does that work?" she asked, going back to the previous subject. "You don't rule?"

"No."

"But I've heard these referred to as your lands."

"That. I don't rule over anything, but everyone stays out of my way and does something if I say so." There was amusement in his voice. Izayoi got the feeling that he was enjoying this.

"That _wouldn't_ be ruling?"

"No. The people here, for instance, have a specific agreement with me. They do whatever they want, and manage their affairs accordingly. I have no interest in human politics. But if I request something, I receive it. And any borders are youkai borders, they don't necessarily correspond to human ones. Besides than the Kikuchi, other humans in this area more or less just understand that I'm around. You could think of youkai and human lands something like wolves and birds. Each live in the same space, but for the most part the territories exist independently. Neither really cares about the other's existence."

"So you rule the youkai part."

"Youkai don't really have politics," Inutaisho said. "I'm stronger than others are, so it's more of an effect. And the only thing I've 'ruled' is that youkai here are not to be attacking human settlements, particularly here, in the heart of the place."

"Why?"

"I like humans."

"Most youkai don't, then?"

"Perhaps as food."

"I suppose I knew that," Izayoi said. "But they listen to you, if you say? You're that far apart from other youkai?"

Inutaisho looked at her.

"It's just--I mean, humans are humans," she said. "Aren't youkai youkai?"

He grinned. "Not exactly."

As Izayoi suddenly noticed his pointed incisors, she realized that she had never seen him really smile until now. "What?"

"It's almost refreshing to meet someone who has no idea who I am, that's all. Most humans at least know," he explained, "especially those in this area. And any youkai who didn't would figure it out because of our extra senses. But have you heard any stories of the dog youkai?"

"Yes," Izayoi said. "Oh," she realized. Those youkai weren't just youkai. There were centuries old legends that told of the dog youkai as beings that were ancient, with the powers of almost gods. She looked back at him. "You...you said that you were the white dog?" she remembered. He nodded, that amused look still on his face.

Suddenly something out of the legends clicked. "THE white dog?" she asked. He nodded again. Not only was he one of the dog youkai, but the one (or at least related to the one) at the head of the legends. "Are you the one that they talk about?" Izayoi asked.

"Probably. I doubt any tales have survived from before that."

"Then how old are you?" she asked again.

"Old enough."

Izayoi dropped it.

She felt like an idiot for not realizing everything earlier, but then... "You're not dead," she exclaimed.

He smiled for the second time that night. "Am I supposed to be?"

"Just...the way that I heard the stories," she said, "they made it sound like nothing like that, nothing like you," she added embarrassedly, "still existed."

"I'm not completely surprised," Inutaisho said. "Many humans would probably prefer to think that. It's much more enjoyable to talk about something if you think it only existed long ago, instead of simply on the other end of the islands."

"But they don't deny that other youkai exist."

"And that scares them enough, doesn't it? They don't even want to contemplate the idea that something _really_ powerful is still lurking around. But there's another fact that they also don't realize. The higher youkai are, the less likely they are to be interested in human doings, for any reason."

Izayoi noticed a scroll several feet away that had a large white dog painted across it in sweeping strokes. "Is that you too, then?" she asked.

"Yes."

"So you can look like that?"

"Yes."

"Which is what you really are?"

He shrugged. "Both."

"Did you ever feel like you were born for more?" she suddenly asked.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know. But sometimes I just feel like I'm not doing what I was meant to do. Like there's so much more out there."

"I don't think it's in youkai nature to feel that. That's one thing humans do too much of--philosophizing. Just live, that's the only thing any of us were born to do."

"But you can say that. You've done so much and seen so much. You've already found the answers."

"There are no answers," he said. "All there is is living. That's the point."

They resumed their walk, but not much of their talk after that. Izayoi soon realized that she had become hopelessly tired, and as they passed the corridor that her room was on, she bid him goodnight.

-----

Inutaisho watched Izayoi disappear into her room, and a sudden thought struck him. What was happening here? He enjoyed her company, but somewhere along the line, had it become more than that? She was definitely a welcome diversion from the boredom that usually awaited him at this place. The Kikuchi were fine, but it was nice to have someone that would actually talk to him about something other than the usual reports that everything was problem free.

Agreement or not, they were always tiptoeing around him, afraid of displeasing him in some way. It would please him if one of them would just be themselves around him. It hadn't always been like that; many times in the past there had been at least one noble or another who wasn't afraid to speak to really him, and he had hopes that the current son would be a bit less uptight than his father.

But Izayoi was different. He had only known her for a short time, and he already felt that he knew more about her than any human (and most youkai) that he could remember. She was easy to talk to, interested in things, even educated. And pretty as well. He felt relaxed and at ease around her, even if only because she was herself around him. But she was human. Not that humans weren't fine, but he never considered the possibility that he might fall for one. It would only bring complications. If it was even happening at all, that is.


	4. Chapter 4

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Inuyasha, so please don't sue me.

----------

"I saw Inutaisho-sama talking to you the other day," Azami said casually, glancing around the gardens as they walked.

"Yes, he told me that he was leaving again," Izayoi said.

"The only one he usually informs of his comings and goings is Father. But then, you've been talking to him a lot, not just the other day. I hardly see you when he's here."

"For which I can only beg your apology," Izayoi said, hoping to change the subject.

"Not at all. Of course, he also seems to have been spending more time here recently. Usually he doesn't stay as long or come back as quickly."

"Oh?"

"You know," Azami said offhandedly, "Inutaisho-sama isn't bad looking, in spite of being youkai. Or because of, if you prefer."

Izayoi stopped dead in her tracks. "I--we're not--people aren't saying anything, are they?"

Azami suddenly laughed. "No, just an observation on my part. You _are_ often with him. And I've heard you call him Inutaisho."

"He told me to."

"Why?"

"I'm not sure, exactly. I think it has something to do with something I said on the night that we met. And he's very interesting, really. He knows so much, and he's easy to talk to."

Azami looked surprised. "Really? I wouldn't have ever called him 'easy to talk to.' Perhaps he chooses to be easy to talk to for you."

Izayoi suddenly remembered something he had said. ..._one person who doesn't walk backwards in front of me_... She wondered exactly why he thought she was qualified to be that person.

"Or perhaps there's something about you that makes it easy for him to talk to you." Azami eyed Izayoi. "You are different sometimes."

"Different? How?"

"Little things. Some people would call it dreamy, others would call it peculiar. You remind me of my distant cousin, Yasuo. He used to spend all day wandering the gardens, contemplating their beauty and meaning. He joined a monastery. Now he sits all day and writes on meditations and the meaning of life. Nothing wrong with that, but it takes a special sort of person. Takeshi, my late brother, envied him, even though he never said so. He used to tease Yasuo, saying he was crazy or enlightened, to be able to get so much out of so little."

"Inutaisho says that humans philosophize too much. I doubt that that's it."

"I never said you were a philosopher. But you do have...something. I can see it. I wouldn't be surprised if he could, too. But of course, I could be seeing things."

-----

Izayoi didn't think about that conversation until a week later, when she saw Inutaisho again. It was at night, a few hours after the sun had gone down. A soft knock came at her door, the kind that was just loud enough for one to hear, but not loud enough to wake one up. She slid the door open, and found him there. It seemed that he had just returned. A small part of her mind registered that she was the first one that he had announced his arrival to.

She made some offhand comment, which he responded to, and they began talking. Izayoi soon suggested that they go walking instead of just standing in her doorframe. But he pointed out that she had already taken off her day kimono and was only dressed in a night robe. She became suddenly embarrassed, until he shrugged and sensibly said that it was exactly the same length as a kimono, just made out of different material.

They ended up in her room, sitting facing each other on the tatami mats by the window, and continuing their conversation. It was hours later when Izayoi suddenly wondered aloud what time it was.

"It's about two hours after midnight," Inutaisho said. "Are you tired? Do you need to sleep?"

"Not really." She suddenly laughed. "But how inappropriate! Sitting up this late unchaperoned. In my room, no less!"

"Well then, we should talk a few more hours until it's light," he said. "Then it will be perfectly all right again."

Izayoi laughed, but suddenly processed his previous comment. "Do you not need sleep, then?"

"Not every night. Hardly at all, really, certainly not as much as humans."

"How did you know what time it was? The stars?"

"I suppose I could have. But it's easier to smell it, feel it. I don't really think about it. I just know."

She and Inutaisho _were_ spending a lot of time together, she realized. But it felt natural, and easy. _Perhaps he chooses to be easy to talk to for you._

"Why are we doing this?" she asked aloud without thinking about it.

"Doing what?"

"It was pointed out to me recently that we're always together."

"You're pleasant company."

Izayoi blinked. Was he just making a statement, or was that supposed to be a compliment? "And no one else is?" she asked carefully.

"I wouldn't know. They all have too many reservations for me to ever find out."

"You mean they're afraid of you?"

Inutaisho looked thoughtful. "Not particularly afraid, but just uneasy. Not only have they made an alliance with a youkai, but a _powerful_ youkai. They're just wary."

"So are you alone a lot?"

"More or less."

"Does that bother you?"

"Sometimes, it used to. But it comes with the territory. And one gets used to it after a while. Humans, even most youkai, would rather keep their distance. And even in the ones that that's not the case in, they're still usually skirting around things." He paused. "But you, are different."

Izayoi thought about it. She really hadn't thought of him as 'the youkai' since the first few moments that she had seen him here. And even when she had realized that he was the youkai that she had heard stories about, beyond a fleeting sort of awe, it didn't really change what she thought. The idea that she was actually talking with _him_ had been fascinating for a moment, but he didn't act any different than he always had. "You're just you," she stammered.

"Very few take the time to see that."

"Are you really _that_ powerful?"

"There are less than a handful of youkai who could be considered my equals. Power is a gift, but a curse as well sometimes."

"Would you trade it?" Izayoi suddenly asked. "For less power, if you had the choice?"

"No," Inutaisho said automatically. "I am who I am. And I'm not complaining. It's just that you've reminded me of it--in a good way." He looked at her again. "You're really not afraid of me at all, are you?"

"Nonsense, you're completely harmless," she said with a smile.

He smirked with an almost hurt look. "I am _not_ completely harmless."

"Well, you're completely harmless to me."

He grinned again. "And whatever made you think that?"

"You wouldn't kill me even when I begged," she said with a bitter laugh. "I think I'm safe. So you always come and go?" she quickly asked, changing the subject.

"Yes, more or less."

"But what do you _do_?"

"Walk borders, check things, occasionally fight something--save beautiful girls standing on cliffs." Izayoi blushed. That was most definitely a compliment. "My life isn't too demanding, really. I have a few favorite spots that I also spend time at--really beautiful, wild, lonely places. You'd probably like them."

"They sound wonderful."

"Perhaps I could show you one of them sometime."

Izayoi looked down. She certainly hadn't been expecting that. He must have sensed her uneasiness, because before she had a chance to speak, he said, "At least accompany me tomorrow on a walk past the manor lands."

"Certainly," she said, smiling.

He stood up. "And now I'll leave you to sleep." He moved to the door, and before she knew it, he was gone.

She suddenly felt a flustered rush. He had asked her to come somewhere with him. He wouldn't do that if he merely enjoyed her company, would he? Was he interested in her? Was she interested in him? Izayoi remembered how disappointed she had been the two times when he had told her that he was leaving. She had missed their conversations. She had missed being around him. But was it more than that, could it be more than that? Izayoi found that she wasn't totally opposed to the idea. And as Azami had (jokingly) pointed out to her, he certainly wasn't bad looking--far from it, she realized.

-----

Inutaisho slid the door shut, and walked to his own room, wondering how he had managed to spend so long simply talking about nothing. It had only seemed like a few minutes, but half the night was gone.

It was because it had happened. He knew that it had. Each time that he had been gone, he had realized how quiet the silence seemed. He had become used to talking to her, in such a short amount of time. Beyond that, everything he saw or did while he was gone, his mind found some way to connect to her. 'Izayoi would have liked to see this,' or 'I will have to remember to tell Izayoi about that.'

He was falling in love with her.

But it had all been so easy. She was wonderful and beautiful. And she wasn't afraid to talk to him, disagree with him, or even joke with him.

But he didn't know what she felt. He only hoped that he wasn't setting himself up for disappointment. Even if he was, though, he knew that he couldn't do anything about it.

-----

The next morning, they set out on their walk. Izayoi told only Azami that she was leaving, and only because she and Inutaisho happened to pass her in the hall. Being with him made Izayoi feel an odd sort of freedom. Maybe it was because of how he acted (or was treated), but she always felt that she didn't have to explain herself or answer for anything when she was with him if she didn't want to. It was almost a guilty indulgence.

It was wonderful, just being with him in the (albeit nearby) wilderness, and Izayoi wondered again if she felt something other than friendship. They spent the entire afternoon walking and talking, with her occasionally picking flowers along the way.

As the day was growing late, he said, "We should probably turn back soon."

"Yes," Izayoi said, pausing to adjust the bouquet in her hands. "I--what?" she asked as she saw him suddenly stiffen and look behind her.

She turned around, and saw that someone else had unexpectedly appeared there. Someone who looked so like Inutaisho that she almost did a double take.

"Father," the other youkai said as he approached.

_Father?_

Inutaisho took a step forward. "Sesshoumaru." Then he gestured toward her. "This is Izayoi." Izayoi curiously looked back and forth between the two of them, unsure of how she should react.

The one called Sesshoumaru looked at her for precisely one second before he turned to Inutaisho and began a short exchange, ignoring her completely. Izayoi looked down, feeling like a child who had been turned away from adults' conversation. She was so lost in her own thoughts that she didn't even listen to what they were talking about. But after what seemed like only a few moments, Sesshoumaru left, disappearing as quickly and silently as he had come.

"We should head back," she heard her voice saying. Izayoi didn't even look up, she just started walking in the direction that they had come from. She couldn't hear if Inutaisho was following her or not, so she risked a quick glance behind her. He was there, walking just a few feet after her. She wasn't sure what she was so upset about. It wasn't as if they were anything more than friends, really. But now it seemed that perhaps they couldn't be anything more.

After a while, the silence began to wear on her nerves. But she couldn't think of anything to say. Shouldn't he be the one to say something? And was he just going to stay back there and stalk her like some silent cat as she walked back? He wasn't helping.

Dusk began to fall, and they were still walking that way.

"Izayoi," he said, finally breaking the silence.

"What?"

"You're starting to go the wrong way."

She stopped and turned around. "What way, then?"

Inutaisho didn't make a movement one way or the other. "I'm not telling you until you say something."

Izayoi sank down on to the grass, suddenly tired of walking anyway. She saw him sit down as well.

"I can sit here for just as long as you can," he continued. "You know this for a fact."

As confused as she felt, Izayoi suddenly realized that she couldn't be angry with him. He really hadn't done anything wrong. She sighed. "I--would it be wrong to ask--"

"About Sesshoumaru? No."

"I didn't know you had a son."

"I was going to tell you, if it came to that."

"If it came to that?" she repeated.

"What I mean," Inutaisho said, "is that if we became more than we are now, you would have a right to know."

_He's been thinking about it as well_, she realized. ..._became more than we are now_... "Do you think, do you think that we are...becoming more?" she asked.

"I think that I would like to," he said slowly. "I like you."

"I like you," Izayoi said, half-surprised to hear the words coming out of her mouth. "I'd like to try, too. You're so...wonderfully unlike anyone I've ever met."

"As are you." Then she saw him smile slightly. "Not afraid of getting involved with a youkai?"

"No more than before. Not afraid of getting involved with a human?" she countered.

"I must admit, it is something that I never considered."

There was a silence. "So what now?" Izayoi asked.

"I suppose I should explain the reason that this conversation began. Sesshoumaru."

"All right then. His mother?"

"We're no longer together," Inutaisho replied. "In any way," he added after a moment. "In the beginning, it-- But it was clear that we simply saw the world differently," he continued, "and disagreed over too many things. We both decided it was better to part ways and be done." He paused, and then added, "You're not a replacement."

"How long ago was it, that it ended?"

"Forty or fifty years."

"Do you see her?"

"We do share a son. Though I've only seen her a couple of times. Sesshoumaru was already grown by then, really."

Izayoi thought for a moment. She didn't think he was misleading her.

"Then why was Sesshoumaru so rude, even to you? Does he resent me being in the place of his mother?"

He was silent for a moment. "Probably not. But Sesshoumaru is proud. He looks down on all that is not like him."

It took Izayoi a few moments to process his words. "He hates me then."

Inutaisho didn't disagree, or even defend. Instead, "Sesshoumaru hates a lot of things."

There was a silence before he continued, "He is my son and I love him. However, we don't always see eye to eye. He has potential to be so much more than he is now. But don't concern yourself about Sesshoumaru. He's not your problem. Actually, I doubt you'll ever see him again. He'll find me alone in the future, I'm certain."

Izayoi was silent. It was a lot to take in at once. A son. A son's mother.

"How old _are_ you?" she suddenly asked.

"I don't know," he finally said. "One stops counting after a while. Seven hundred, eight hundred, probably more."

Izayoi was quiet for a moment. From things that he had said before, she had known that he was older than any human. But she had stopped her guesses at a few centuries--two, maybe three. "Truly?"

He nodded.

"That's...I can't even imagine." Then she smiled. "And to think I spent years dreading the prospect of being married off to an old man."

She suddenly noticed that it had gotten quite dark while they were talking. "We should head back." He nodded, and they stood up.

But returning was easier said than done. Izayoi soon found out that the previously easy to navigate ground was full of rocks to trip over, branches to kick, and holes to stumble into once it got dark. Needless to say, her going was rather slow.

"I could carry you," Inutaisho suddenly said, after she had almost fallen for the fifth time.

"I'm not an invalid," she snapped, frustrated. Then, "I'm sorry."

"Then at least hold on to my arm."

"Fine."

After that, Izayoi found that going along was much easier. He was there to pull her back up if she did slip, but for the most part he seemed to guide her easily around hidden obstacles. She suddenly realized something. "You can completely see in the dark, can't you?"

"Yes, of course."

She smiled at him. "Youkai," she half-accused.

"Human."

They walked back together arm in arm.

----------

Notes: If you have read this before, you will notice a slight change when they're talking about Sessmom. If you haven't, then it doesn't matter.


	5. Chapter 5

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Inuyasha, so please don't sue me.

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It wasn't too much longer after that that Izayoi realized that they had become more, whether they had been trying to or not. She realized that Inutaisho was what she had been looking for all her life. He made her feel alive and wonderful. When she was with him, it felt like they were the only two people in the world, that they could do anything, and nothing else mattered.

She missed him terribly when he was gone. She told him so once, after he returned from one of his trips.

"You should come sometime," he told her.

"And just wander around the wilderness?"

"More or less."

"No thank you. I've traveled through the wilderness. I was cold, hungry, and uncomfortable."

"If you ever come with me, I promise that you won't be cold, hungry, or uncomfortable."

Eventually, Izayoi took him up on his offer. She wanted to see the places that he talked about, to see where he felt the most at home, even if it was away from everything she knew. Anything past the well-traveled roads was wilderness to her, and she had had a very dissatisfying taste of that while making her journey here. But he was talking about the real wilderness, even past all that, where not even bandits trafficked or make their hideaways. In a way, it sounded absolutely thrilling, if a little terrifying. But she supposed that she couldn't ask for a better guide than someone who had walked there for centuries.

Izayoi was also aware of what a trip alone might lead to. But she didn't care, since she felt that it was bound to happen eventually anyway. She knew by now that she was in love with him.

The next time that he left, she accompanied him. They set out in the direction that the least roads were, and soon they had left them all together. The hills and the forests were incredibly beautiful, and weren't terribly hard to make her way through. There wasn't that much underbrush, at least in the spots that he picked to walk through. But all around them was an endless sea of green. Izayoi knew that if she were alone she would have been hopelessly lost.

When she had asked what they were going to do, Inutaisho told her that this was really just a trip for her, since he wouldn't take her if he was going to be anywhere dangerous or traveling great distances.

"So you come to these places how often, then?" she asked.

"I come when I'm not doing anything else. They're just resting places--like the Kikuchi's house. I go there if I want to be indoors for a change, or am perhaps in the mood for a traditional meal. But I prefer the outdoors. It's home. Youkai have a greater connection with nature, I think. I usually spend more time at these places. Until recently," he added, with a glance in her direction.

Izayoi looked down, but smiled.

By sunset, they were walking in an enormous forest, with trees so tall that Izayoi couldn't see their tops, and trunks so wide that her arms wouldn't reach even halfway around them.

"This is so beautiful," she said. "I had no idea that there were even places like this. And it's all so old looking."

"It's a youkai forest, more or less."

"What does that mean?"

"First, that it's old," Inutaisho said. "Humans don't like things that are a great deal older than they are. It makes them uncomfortable. They stay out, as a general rule. Youkai like places that are old. So all that's left is youkai. And now, because of the youkai, it's a youkai forest."

"So the trees aren't alive then, or anything like that?" she asked, half-joking.

"Only some."

"Really?"

"One of them is a rather good acquaintance," he said. "But really, there aren't that many more youkai here than in any other forest. It's just that any here have run of it, if they choose, since hardly any humans enter. It should be more overrun, really, than it is."

"Do other youkai stay out because of you?"

"Some do, undoubtedly. Look, we're here." He pointed ahead, to the abrupt end of the trees. Beyond them was a cliff face, which overlooked a splendid green valley below and the remnants of the sunset that were painted across the sky beyond. He sat down on the edge of the cliff, and motioned for her to do the same. Izayoi did so, wondering at how right this all felt. Sitting in the middle of nowhere watching the sunset with a youkai had never crossed her mind as the perfect day, but it most definitely was.

As they sat and the darkness fell around them, he told her more about the places that he had been--places all over Japan, even some on the continent. Some Izayoi had never heard of before, and some were famous sites.

He described Mt. Fuji to her, which she had only seen paintings. He told her about how it looked from afar, what it was like standing at its top, even about its last eruption.

"Everything sounds so wonderful," she sighed.

"Someday, I'll take you to Mt. Fuji."

"But women aren't allowed on Mt. Fuji."

He grinned. "I doubt that youkai are allowed either. Besides, who's going to stop us?"

"Fine. We'll go then," she said with a smile. Then, "What's that like?"

"What?"

"Be able to do whatever you want, whenever you want."

"I don't know. I don't know any other way."

"Hm." Izayoi suddenly shivered. "I just realized how cold it was getting. I could get my blanket out, I suppose. I should have brought another cloak for myself, though."

"I did. Take this," he said, pulling something out of his clothing.

Izayoi took it, surprised and flattered that he had put so much thought into her comfort. Even though she had fully told him how unpleasant her trip west had been, she hadn't expected him to commit it all to memory. She spread the cloth out. It was the top half of a set of clothing. It was light, but she wrapped it around her like a cloak anyway. To her surprise, it fully blocked the wind and the chill in the air, leaving her feeling completely warm.

"What is this?" she asked.

"It is made from the fur of the fire rat. It was my mother's," he added.

"Your mother's? But these are men's clothes."

"Youkai women are rarely traditional, my mother even less. She was a warrior--a powerful one, and a good one. She helped teach me. But you are correct about the clothes. These weren't hers originally. They belonged to her older brother. But when he was killed one day, she discarded her own clothes and wore his. He died long before I was born, so to me, they were always hers."

Izayoi wasn't sure what to say about him giving her something to wear that was so old, and had such a history. "Thank you."

"Would you like to take a short walk?"

"Where?"

"There," he said, pointing.

"Down there? In the valley?"

"Yes."

"All right." Izayoi stood up as he did. However, he didn't turn around or start moving in any direction, but only stood, still looking down at the valley. "Well?" she asked.

"Well, let's go," he said, putting an arm around her waist.

She momentarily panicked. "From here? Off the cliff?"

"Don't you trust me?"

"Yes, of course. But--"

"Then hold on." His grip tightened and he took a step forward, and then another. Nothing happened.

Izayoi looked down, and then back at the cliff. Her feet dangled uselessly and the cliff was several feet behind them, yet the two of them were still there, suspended in midair. Then slowly they began to descend towards the land below.

"You can fly?" she asked.

"More or less. This form can't for large distances, but hanging or moving in the air isn't a problem."

Izayoi poked him with her elbow. "You could have told me that before you stepped off."

"Now where would the fun in that be?" He smirked as they landed. "Now, you stay right here, I'm going to get some firewood. I'll be right back."

She nodded. Then he jumped up, and was gone from her sight. Izayoi found that under the cliff was an overhang, one part of which was quite deep and cozy. It was also shielded from the wind, so she spread the fire rat cloth out on the grass first, and then folded the remainder over herself. Then she began to unwrap the rice and other food that she had brought. Before she was done, Inutaisho was back with the wood, which he built a fire for her with. Izayoi had her meal, and then decided that she had to go to sleep or she wouldn't be able to do anything the next day.

She found a comfortable spot, and then covered herself with her thin blanket and the cloak over that. After a minute of lying there, she realized something. He was still sitting there, staring out at the land before them, his back against the wall. She suddenly remembered what he had said about not needing sleep. Was he going to do that all night? Well, he must be, since surely he wouldn't leave her here. But neither option seemed that appealing, actually. Izayoi couldn't decide which sounded more unnerving--someone watching her sleep all night, or being alone in the wilderness all night.

"Aren't you going to sleep?" she finally asked, knowing that he wouldn't, but at least wanting to know which alternative it was going to be.

"No."

"You're not going to leave, are you?"

"No."

"Are you just going to sit here, then?" she pressed.

"Yes." He paused. "Actually, I was planning on staring unblinkingly at you all night," he added sarcastically.

"Shut up."

He laughed. "Do you know how many people have ever even dared to suggest that I shut up?"

"I thought that was why you liked me. And you deserved a 'shut up' for that."

"Very unladylike, telling people to shut up," he continued.

"I just don't like the idea of someone watching me sleep all night, that's all."

"I could go to sleep, would that make you feel better?"

"No! Then something might sneak up and kill us. Or at least me."

"Look," he said. "You have to sleep. I don't. I'm probably going to do what I would do if I were out here alone, just sit and watch things. You won't even be interesting unless there's something about to attack you." He smirked. "Which it won't. So just go to sleep already."

"Fine." Izayoi turned her back to him and fell asleep. Eventually.

-----

_I lied_, Inutaisho thought.

He didn't mean to at the time, but it happened anyway.

He ended watching her sleep for half the night. First it was just a quick glance in her direction, and then looking back out at the landscape. Soon it became shifting his gaze between her and the land. Though each time he found it harder to look away from her.

----------

Notes: What can I say? I like the idea of the last great dog demon being a woman. :)


	6. Chapter 6

There is absolutely no excuse for my not updating in so long, so I'm not going to give one.

However there is also absolutely no excuse for the rude emails I've beeen getting. Now, I'm not talking about "please continue" or "when are you going to update?" I'm talking about the people who have been cursing at me.

Anyway, the wtory continues...

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Suki had just been married, to the young lord of some or other castle. Even though the younger of the two sisters, the day that she decided it was time for matrimony, it was time to look at her prospects seriously. She had singled out one of the appropriate suitors at a social function, and had set her mind on him that day, her mother agreeing that he was the finest and most desirable catch. Suki set about wooing him, while all the while he thought he was wooing her. It was an advantageous match to both families, and soon they were betrothed, then married this night.

Izayoi stood at the edge of the hall, watching the final hours of the wedding feasting. The new couple had long since left, but the party was still going on. However, she was beginning to tire of it. Glancing around, she soon caught a pair of eyes watching her through a slit in the wall, and made her way to the gardens.

Inutaisho was there, half-heartedly watching the party from the shadows. The night was a refreshing cool, compared to the people filled room inside. The sky was cloudy, but there was a warm breeze.

"I thought you weren't coming," she said, joining him.

"I didn't."

"Well, you didn't stay in your room or leave."

"If I'd done that, I couldn't have spent all evening watching you." She smiled. "Besides, I do enjoy a good party, even if I wouldn't particularly be welcome."

His eyes caught and reflected the light from the lanterns inside. Izayoi looked back to the party in the hall. She started to ask if that bothered him, but she realized that it probably didn't.

"Do you want a wedding?" he suddenly asked her. She must have looked shocked, because he continued, "I never really asked you, you know. I just assumed it didn't matter, because you never said anything."

"I didn't think--do youkai _get_ married?"

"Not really, because a youkai priest would be kind of a contradiction, wouldn't it?" He grinned. "Usually, if you find someone you like, and they like you, you agree to go off together and start your lives and that's that. But if it's important to you--"

"If it was really important to me, I would have said something before now, wouldn't I?" She smiled again. "But going off together sounds like a good idea. No one at the party will miss me."

Izayoi turned and started walking toward her room, not looking behind, but knowing that he would follow.

-----

They hadn't actually spent the night together until several months after he showed her the woods and the valley. Not long after that night, she had her rooms moved to the other wing of the house, adjacent to his. That they were together was apparent to all, even though it was never announced. And while there was the occasional odd or cold look thrown at her here and there, no one had really ever said anything. If anyone disapproved, Izayoi never knew. Whether they were afraid to comment about Inutaisho's affairs, or truly thought it was none of their business, the people of the house kept quiet. If anything, the Kikuchi lord was even more polite and gracious to her, which she found amusing, since he barely tolerated her when she first came. The lady hadn't made a comment one way or the other. Suki had thought it shocking and then thrilling, and Azami accepted it with the same good manners that she accepted everything.

However, whatever unspoken rules governed this place, Izayoi was fully aware of what the rest of the world thought. "Disapproval" was not a strong enough word. She knew that gossip spread like fire, and whether or not it was innocent here, it turned to poison outside of the house and the town. She knew that strangers and visitors knew who she was, for she sometimes caught the whispers of "the youkai's bride," or much worse words to describe her. These things were never said in front of the family, and rarely herself, but the walls were thin.

But she was happy, and she didn't care.

Let the rest of the world wonder about her as they would.

-----

When Izayoi woke up, there was a breakfast tray by her mat. She looked over and saw Inutaisho, already dressed, sitting against one wall. "I knew you would wake up soon, so I ordered you breakfast."

She nodded sleepily. She had long ago become accustomed to the fact that he could tell when she was about to wake up, how long it would take her to go to sleep, how deeply asleep she really was, and if she was pretending to be asleep. He'd said it had to do with her breathing and heartbeats, once, when she'd asked him. Little things that he could discern without even thinking about it.

Izayoi pulled her robe up and began eating her meal, while he did nothing more than watch. She had also become accustomed to the fact that Inutaisho rarely ate, unless he was in the mood for it. While she could see the convenience of not having to eat, there seemed to be something missing about it, since eating was how she timed her day.

As she picked some more rice up with her chopsticks, a sudden stinging on her arm caused them to almost drop them. She set them down, and pulled up her sleeve, but there was nothing there. She moved her robes around, trying to see if there was anything at all.

After about five seconds of unsuccessful searching, Izayoi looked over at Inutaisho, wondering if he thought she'd gone crazy. "Something bit me, I swear it did!"

He looked at her, but all he said was, "Leave her alone, Myouga." There was a slight smirk on his face. Then he held out his hand.

"Begging your pardon, Inutaisho-sama," came a voice out of seemingly nowhere. "But I had to see what sort of company you were keeping. And it was only a small bite, and only on the arm, for who could mar such a beautiful face?"

"Of course." There was amusement in his voice.

Izayoi now saw that on the tip of his finger a small dot had landed. She moved closer on her hands and knees, and saw that the voice had been coming from a small thing sitting on his hand.

"This is Myouga, a flea youkai that annoys me sometimes," Inutaisho said. "Myouga, this is Izayoi."

"Now what sort of introduction is that, my lord? But certainly a pleasure," the flea called to her as he jumped on to her own hand. "And I'm sure you'll forgive me for that little prick? After all, a flea can't help himself."

"Of...course not," she said.

"Any particular reason you're here, Myouga?"

"I heard that you were back in the area, my lord. And naturally, I wanted to introduce myself to your friend."

"Naturally."

"I heard she was a beauty, but the lady has far exceeded even my grandest expectations. In all my years of serving my lord, I have never seen him with a lovelier lady." He made a small bow from the tip of her finger.

Izayoi smiled. "You do pick excellent servants, Inutaisho."

"Myouga thinks flattery will get him everywhere."

"I think it's working so far." Izayoi smiled back at the flea, who she had already decided was charming in his own way.

"Just hope you're never with him in a fight."

She looked at him quizzically.

"Myouga is the biggest coward that ever lived. Aren't you, Myouga?"

"Why, Inutaisho-sama, after all these years of faithful service! After I risk my life to bring you news!"

"So do you bring any news?"

"No, but--"

"Then let's leave Izayoi to eat in peace." He stood up, and Myouga jumped back to him.

Just before the sliding door shut, she heard Myouga call, "Till we meet again, new and lovely lady Izayoi-sama!"

-----

Whether or not Myouga had brought Inutaisho news, they still must have had things to talk about, for Inutaisho was gone for the rest of the day, and when he returned, Myouga had already left. Inutaisho also informed her that he would be leaving the next week, for about a week.

He did still leave, and was gone almost half of the time, acutally. "I can't afford to simply disappear," he'd told her. There was also the minimal concern that if he never left the house, her existence and importance would become obvious. Since many humans knew of their relationship, it was given that many youkai did as well. Many of them didn't care, or weren't in a position to care, but there were some who might, especially if they thought Izayoi was more than a passing interest. "Powerful youkai make powerful enemies," he'd said once.

He made himself seen as he always had been, and insured that everything was as it should be. And there were also things that he had to do still, whether or not he wanted to be seen.

Izayoi also knew that there was another reason that he wasn't telling her, for fear that she would possibly take it the wrong way. When it came down to it, Inutaisho simply couldn't stand to be here all the time, even for her. It wasn't in his nature to stay in one place, or in his nature to be around people and indoors all the time. So she really didn't care that he left, since it was usually only for a few days, even though he did it every few days. And sometimes she went with him, when he just wanted to get out, and didn't have anything specific to do.

Besides, she could overlook it, if only for the presents he brought back to her. From beautiful jewels to interesting rocks, from simple flowers to rare and potent healing (and sometimes magical) plants. She tucked all of it away in a beautiful wooden box, which he had also given her. Though the plants she usually kept part of for herself, and turned the rest over to the Kikuchi lady, after instructing her on their use. There were people who were sick now who could benefit from them, and she would make sure they were distributed properly. Inutaisho also brought Izayoi some things that were obviously magical and of youkai make. Her favorite was an opal colored ring that looked very pretty during the day, but glowed like a tiny orange fire at night.

-----

This night she came to his room, though they merely spent their time curled up together on the mats. It had been a quiet evening, and neither had said much, until he broke the silence.

"There's something that we should talk about."

"What?"

"Any possible children."

Izayoi looked up at him. "What about them?"

"They wouldn't be human or youkai. The would be half, hanyou."

"Is that unhealthy?"

"Not necessarily, but it means that they wouldn't be accepted easily by humans or by youkai. They would be ostracized, and always on the outside. I've seen it before."

Izayoi was silent for a moment. "So what is there to consider?"

"If you want to bring a child into that. If you don't, then we won't have any children."

"It's as simple as that, is it?"

"Yes."

"Well then, we'll have to take the risk, since I'm not willing to give you up."

Inutaisho smiled at that, but then said quite seriously, "I can tell whether or not you're in the time to have a child, so we just wouldn't be together then. If you don't want a child who would always have difficulties, we simply won't have one."

It had never occurred to Izayoi that it would be as simple as having or not having a child. Getting pregnant was always a matter of chance, there was no sure way to know when it would or wouldn't happen (although apparently this only applied to humans).

"What about you?" she asked. "What do you want?"

"I don't need child. For better or for worse, I already have Sesshoumaru. But if you want one, I want one for you. For us."

Izayoi thought about it again. A child that would be half and half. If what he said was true, a child that would have a hard life. But who was to say if anyone's life would be hard? Hardships were always a part of life. And the child would be loved by both of them.

Still, she couldn't find herself saying a definite yes or a definite no. A child wasn't something to pick and choose. A child chose when it would be born.

"What about," she said after a moment, "if we didn't do it either way? If we end up being together then, then don't worry about it. If we're together other times, then that's fine. And I don't want you telling me when is when or finding some reason not to if it is when, all right?"

He nodded.

"If it happens, it happens; if it doesn't, it doesn't. I still have you."

His arm tightened around her waist. "And I you."

----------

Notes: I have decided that this will not follow movie 3, mainly because I can't accept the fact that Inutaisho was killed by a burning building. It's just not very believable, in my opinion. If he managed to come back from figting Ryuukotsusei (and in the movie, got all those arrows shot into him), a little fire and timber is not gonna do the trick. So, this fic either takes place in manga continuity (yay! manga), or the non-movie anime continuity. (Which exists, since we all know that Inuyasha and Kagome haven't "really" kissed yet. :)


	7. Chapter 7

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Inuyasha, so please don't sue me.

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Notes: Talking about Inutaisho's mother here, not Sesshoumaru's.

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Time slid by.

Weeks turned into months, months slowly began to form years, and life went on in the same wonderful way.

Inutaisho shifted his time between the house and the wilderness, sometimes taking Izayoi with him, sometimes not. He continued to amaze and delight her, and she him. The few problems they had were with the outside world, but for the most part it was all like a fantastic dream. For both of them.

-----

Sometimes Izayoi thought that they had the best times together when they were in the wilderness. Besides being completely alone, it seemed that Inutaisho was almost more of himself. He was more open, perhaps since there was no chance of anyone but herself hearing it. He often volunteered random pieces of personal information, things of his past, that she was sure she couldn't picture him saying under the Kikuchi roof. Many times she believed he did it on purpose, only bringing her out when he wanted to tell her something that he felt he couldn't do otherwise.

Such as earlier this day. They were walking through deserted, rolling hills in a relatively tame place, but still far away from any villages or houses. Izayoi had never been to this particular area before. Many places they routinely visited, ones that were extremely beautiful and private, and had the conditions for staying long periods, like nearby streams and shelter.

But this place was new, though no less beautiful. It was open and green, with small trees scattered about and mountains in the background. It looked like something out of an impossibly ideal ink painting.

Everything was lush and vibrant as they walked, until they came to a spot in a flat area. There was a circle about eight feet across where the grass ended and even no weeds grew. Izayoi got an odd feeling standing next to it.

"What's that?"

"A spot where a great youkai fell," he answered.

"A grave?"

"No, just where one fell. No plants will grow there for centuries--such a great amount of energy was released into the earth."

"Is it cursed?" Izayoi asked.

"No. And there's nothing dangerous about it. The poisonous energy is long gone. It's almost an acknowledgement of the land itself that something great happened here. Many walk over it that don't even know what it means."

He stood for a moment, looking down, and then started to walk again. She though that he would go around the circle, but instead he walked over the grassless land without a sign that it was different from anywhere else. Izayoi couldn't bring herself to do the same. Youkai things were youkai things, but it felt like walking on someone's grave. She quickly skirted it and caught up with him.

The day was still beautiful, but it suddenly seemed all the more somber.

A thought occurred to her, though she decided not to speak it. But she didn't have to; he confirmed it a moment later.

"That's where she fell," he said.

They walked a few more paces.

"How long ago was it?"

"Nearly five hundred years. Powerful enemies and brutal fight. I wasn't there to witness or join it. The dragon would get no son of hers, she said. She forbid me on my honor not to follow her. It was true that there was nothing I could have done then that she could not. 'If I fail, you must still live on.'"

"She was killed," Izayoi said, a statement more than a question.

"Yes."

"What happened to the dragon?"

"It disappeared. He sleeps somewhere of his own accord, or was sealed, perhaps. No one knows. A few times a century there are rumors, but nothing comes of them. Myouga reports them to me. He makes for an excellent collector of information--small and quick, and not easily noticed."

"Could the dragon already be dead?"

"No. Something that powerful doesn't die without it being felt."

Izayoi felt a sudden dread in the pit of her stomach. "You're waiting for him to come back, aren't you? So that you can take revenge?"

"I'm strong now. Few could even be considered my equals. Yes, I will find him, and I will kill him, even if it takes another five hundred years."

The improbability of the thing waking up _now_, when it hadn't been seen for centuries, didn't even register in her mind. "What if something happens to you?"

He took her hand in his. "It won't. Honestly, I doubt I'll even have the chance. The longer a youkai slumbers, the greater the possibility that it will do so for all eternity."

Izayoi looked back at the ring, which vanished as they went over the next hilltop. She couldn't believe that something so awful had happened in such a tranquil place. She tried to imagine the ground torn up and the trees uprooted as two youkai fought to the death, but she couldn't do it. It seemed almost impossible that such a thing had ever happened, as perfect looking as the hills and valleys were now. But there was the ring, the eerie ring, which looked unnatural even if one didn't know what it meant.

Izayoi shuddered once more, and then concentrated pushing all such morbid thoughts out of her mind and enjoying the rest of the trip.

And really, she succeeded.

There was no point in worrying about the past or the future. One could only live now.

-----

It was a few days later when a different incident occurred that thoroughly shook her.

They were walking through rocky hills, and were along a stream with an intermittent tree line when another youkai approached them. Izayoi couldn't see quite from where he came. One moment he was simply there, bowing before Inutaisho so low that his armor and clothing scraped the ground. However, when he stood up and she saw the look on his dark face, she realized it was all mock. Oh, the youkai was afraid of him, but looked as if he was determined to be just polite enough not to get killed.

"Inutaisho-sama," he greeted him. "What a pleasure to see you again. I knew you were around, and I had to come and see."

They exchanged some fake platitudes, and then the youkai's eyes slid to Izayoi.

"She looks nice," he commented. It was said almost as an innocent, offhand remark, but there was an underlying tone. Suddenly she couldn't stand the piercing look he was giving her. Purposefully unnerving, his eyes wouldn't leave her.

Izayoi slowly turned from Inutaisho's side and stepped behind him in one smooth arc. He gave no sign of movement as she slumped against his back. She didn't hear the rest of what they said. The thoughts whirled in her head.

It wasn't the fact that she didn't know what most youkai did, she did know. However, now she also knew that the majority of youkai were dumb, and even if they weren't, speech wasn't always a sign of real intelligence. If she had encountered one like that while with Inutaisho, she would have paid it no mind, really.

Even now, she wasn't truly afraid, only thoroughly sickened.

This youkai, he looked human. He was obviously a rational, thinking being. So the way that he had stood there, taken her measure, and coolly, intelligently told her that he thought she would make a nice dinner sent absolute shivers up her spine.

Suddenly she felt Inutaisho move from behind her. As he turned, his arm guided her slightly in front of him. After a few steps away, he said, "He's gone."

Izayoi crumpled. She couldn't help it; something just hit her.

She felt his hand on her shoulder, and opened her eyes to find him kneeling beside her.

"There's nothing to be afraid of," he said. "He would not have dared to move. Even if he had, I would have killed him."

"I know, but the _way_ he looked at me." She shuddered. "It's not even the way human men look at you, leering. He looked at me like I was some--some _thing_, some thing that was only good for him to--"

"Don't say it. Don't think about it anymore. Don't worry about other youkai." He paused and grinned. "I'm the only youkai you need to worry about."

"I don't have to worry about you."

"Exactly."

-----

That evening, after they had been together, Izayoi suddenly rolled over and looked at him.

"You said that you could tell when I...I was...right to have children."

"Yes."

"And we have...been together then?" she asked.

"Sometimes."

"Then why aren't I with child yet?"

"I don't know."

"I just never thought that I would be one of those women who couldn't conceive."

"It is perhaps harder between humans and youkai, though I know of few who could say for sure. Do you want children that badly?"

"No. Yes. I mean, I would like children, but if I couldn't have any, it wouldn't be the end of the world, I suppose. But I don't want to disappoint you," she added.

"I said from the beginning that we didn't have to have children. And you're not disappointing me. I have you. That's enough."

"And I have you."

There was a short silence.

"But if you'd like," he said, "we could try again."

She grinned. "We could at that."

-----

And time slid by.


End file.
